basically

I have wasted my life up

until maybe these last two or three

years I have nothing

meaningful to give to anyone I know

nothing I can do nothing I have also wasted countless resources of all those around me

like a parasite I have also nulled

any direction educationally and so I

am floating without any reputation

among any circle of people without any skill in

anything whatsoever and I am entirely lost. Every day the

pain of fighting despair is hard to bear and I have a sensation that I

am progressively melting into the floor